hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
