i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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