I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My ass is underappreciated
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
