you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
