Got a toothbrush?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
