Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
