Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize