you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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