i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
