my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
