Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
