My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize