We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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