You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
