So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need to align my fucking chakras
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
