I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
do herpes really smell.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
