I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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