Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
