bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
