did you get engaged???
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
