wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you have to choose: penises or morals?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
