Welp...herpes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize