He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
