You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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