in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
