And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
