So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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