I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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