I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize