haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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