Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
