I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize