I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she peed on how many people?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
