I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need to stop coming to work sober
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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