The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
