You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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