we made out on top of his cat.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize