Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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