i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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