Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
