I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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