stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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