did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
zippers are such a cool invention
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
