2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
