Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
