I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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