Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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