Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
