The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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