guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
