its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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