Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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