a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
