My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
