I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Someone came in the potted fern
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
