She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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