Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
