I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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