oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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