She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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