I'm really into asian looking animals
its not stalking. its research.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Still dying that you shit outside
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
