Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I currently don't understand fingers.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
