i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
