I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
MIDGETS
????
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
