turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
where does the pee come out of this thing
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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