I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I want her autograph on my taint
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
